RELATIONSHIPWRECKS

The Importance of a Proper Apology
(It’s Really Important)

Whoever said “Love is never having to say you’re sorry” was full of crap. We are all loving, feeling, emotional beings, and we’re flawed. So let’s start by acknowledging that we all occasionally will make mistakes in the relationship. When that happens, apologize! And for the record, a quick “sorry” said under your breath is not an apology, unless you’re a four-year-old who just spilled his juice on the carpet.

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Working through problems effectively is where our communication skills are truly put to the test. Ideally, our differences help us understand each other and to grow together as a couple. Telling your partner to relax, followed by a quick sorry under your breath, however, will not end well. Ever.

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A proper apology has four mandatory parts:

1. Being able to explain what you did wrong.

2. Acknowledging how that made your partner feel.

3. Showing genuine remorse for what you did.

4. Promising to sincerely try not to do it again.

 

 

By the way, it is possible to say or do something that’s totally justified but it can still be upsetting or hurtful to another. Telling someone you’re sorry to have upset her doesn’t automatically mean that you were wrong. If you love someone and she is hurt, that should matter to you. Telling her that you’re sorry to have upset her can make all the difference in stressful situations. Quite honestly, if that isn’t how you feel, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship with her in the first place.

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